5 Ways to Promote Mental Health with Your Kids During Summer Break Summer break can be a great time for kids and families. This can be an excellent opportunity to bond as a family, to explore, and to create lasting positive memories for your kids. It can also be challenging to find the proper balance of fun, relaxation, enrichment, and positive mental health. Some important items that should be incorporated into summer break: Structure and Chores: Even though summer is supposed to be a break and a fun time, you still will want to have structure and responsibility. The chores can be simple and can rotate daily or can be steps towards a larger project that may take weeks or months. Trying to keep a schedule will also help to ensure that your kids don’t sleep until noon and waste away the summer. It will also make transitioning back to school in the fall much easier. Play: Kids still need to have fun playing. This is an important method for learning and improving social skills. It also enables kids to problem solve and explore. The play should definitely involve time without “screens” in front of them (unless it is a screen used to sift through a stream to find minerals). Bedtime: Many kids have bedtimes only during the school year. We all know school age kids that stay up well past midnight watching cartoons or playing video games. While it is true that they don’t have to get up early to get ready for school and to catch a bus, it is still important to ensure that kids are getting at least eight hours of sleep each night. This will help their growth and development. Give-back: Try to find opportunities for your kids to give back to the community and/or to help others less fortunate. This can become an amazing experience and also will help cement the importance of helping other people and other very important character building traits. Hobby: Summer is a great time to discover a hidden or yet to be identified talent or passion. It can be a new sport, activity, game, or even collecting something. The above items will help your child to develop as a person, maintain physical health, help others, and promote positive mental health. Have fun and enjoy! ———— Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates provides therapy and counseling services for individuals, couples, and families of all ages. The practice specializes in stress, depression, anxiety, relationships, and other mental health related issues. Dr. Lena Pearlman and her team provide free training and resources to teachers, counselors and families in St. Louis county. Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates can be reached by phone at 314-942-1147, by email at: bryan@stlmentalhealth.com or online at: www.STLmentalhealth.com. The address is 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141.
Below is a great article about helping children cope with divorce. The writer is a professor of psychiatry at Yale. The original article appeared on www.psychologytoday.com. — A pediatrician once asked me to help a six-year-old named Sam, who was struggling with anger and sadness over his parents’ divorce. His mother and father had separated nine months before, and he was fighting at school and crying himself to sleep nightly. After I talked with Sam weekly for six weeks, he began to feel better and calmed down at school. His parents, who worked hard at co-parenting, had both noticed the change and shared that information with me and, on my advice, with him. Sam seemed surprised. “You talk about me with Dad?” he said. Mom answered, “We got some help understanding your upset about our divorce, and we are cooperating better about you [sic].” Sam replied, “Good. Now I can get over it!” Nearly half of America’s married couples face the likelihood of divorce. Most of these couples have children, most of whom will be affected, though it is hard to predict how. Here are a few things to keep in mind when helping children cope with divorce. Although the stigma of divorce stings less these days, partly because it is so common, children almost never think it is as good an idea as the parents who seek it. Don’t insult them by trying to talk them into agreeing with your point of view about its benefits or its hazards. Children, especially the young ones, love having their families together and often feel anxious, angry and saddened when they begin to come apart. Most parents work at separating and divorcing without traumatizing their children. Children often recover from this loss without serious emotional scarring and with their ability to trust in relationships intact, especially when parents acknowledge how their children are feeling about this event and when children trust the adults to hear them out and love them through it. One of the most difficult aspects of divorce to young children, besides a change in family income and lifestyle that may accompany a divorce, is the threat to (or in some cases the end of) their parents’ friendship with each other. This particular loss may leave children feeling more alone and worried that they might be next. Boys and girls typically respond differently to divorce. Boys show their distress more obviously with behavioral, school or social troubles, like Sam. Girls may seem okay at first with few outward signs of distress but may suffer the effects later when they enter their first close relationship and feel overwhelmed by self-doubt, suspiciousness and fear of abandonment. Children who handle divorce best are the ones whose parents honor their children’s needs above their own, are able to work out fair financial and parenting plans and, most importantly, help each other be the best parents they can be. Dr. Kyle Pruett is a Clinical Professor of Child Psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine. Article shared by Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates – a St. Louis Mental Health Therapy practice that specializes in stress, depression, anxiety, relationships and other mental health related issues. The team of five therapists provide counseling and therapy services to children, teens, adults, couples and families at the Creve Coeur office – 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141. Contact the office at: 314-942-1147 or bryan@stlmentalhealth.com. The practice website is: www.STLmentalhealth.com.
Mental Health Therapy Myths There are so many myths about mental health therapy that travel around. Some have some factual basis, some are confusing, and others are completely false. Below are five myths that I have heard lately. Myth #1: Only people who are crazy go to a therapist. Answer: False Reality: There are many reasons why people choose to see a therapist. These may include: stress (from work, life or school), depression or feeling down, anxiety, relationship challenges, life transitions, career transition, coping and grieving, conflict, or a host of other mental health related issues or concerns. Myth #2: Weak people seek out therapy, strong people can solve their issues on their own. Answer: False Reality: Strong and successful people from all walks of life, socioeconomic groups, and careers see a therapist on a regular basis. This includes – professional athletes, celebrities, business people, attorneys, politicians, doctors, nurses, educators, students, and others. These individuals realize the power of having a therapist on their team to help explore and guide them on their journey to feeling their best and living a fulfilled life. Myth #3: My family and friends are the only support I need to feel better. Answer: False Reality: While having a supportive network of family members and friends is important, having an unbiased person to listen and speak to is invaluable. They can help you process and plan for the present and the future. Myth #4: Therapy is nothing more than a place to vent and complain. Why not go to a bar or a barber shop? Answer: False Reality: Therapy is way more than just a place to vent and complain. A skilled therapist will help you to reflect on items or situations that have been challenging or concerning to you. They will work together with you in a problem solving and planning model. Myth #5: Everyone, including my work, will find out I’m in therapy and this will be a problem. Answer: False Reality: There are Federal Laws that protect your health related privacy (under HIPAA). The only way people will find out that you are in therapy is if you tell them. ————- Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is a St. Louis mental health therapy and counseling practice. The team of therapists specialize in stress, anxiety, depression, relationships, and other mental health related issues. More information about the practice can be found at: www.STLmentalhealth.com. You can find many resources on the website. Dr. Lena Pearlman and her team can be contacted by phone at: 314-942-1147 or by email at: bryan@stlmentalhealth.com. The office is located at: 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141.
St. Louis therapy practice, Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates, creates new promo video for kids and teens. The practice hopes that kids and teens that are struggling with stress, depression, anxiety, family or school issues and/or other mental health relates issues – will work with their parents or school counselors to seek out the assistance that they need. Dr. Bryan Pearlman shares his motivation for creating the promo video, “There are a lot of kids and teens out there who are struggling and they don’t know where to turn for help. We know that kids and teens are on youtube and on social media a great deal. Our hope is that they watch the video and this starts a conversation with the caregiver or a staff person at school. If they connect with us, that is great, we will help them – but more important is that they connect with someone to get help.” The video can be found on youtube, social media and viewed below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWnLMuz2BjI Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is a mental health therapy practice in St. Louis, Missouri. The practice has five licensed therapists that specialize in stress, depression, anxiety, relationships, and other mental health related issues. The team works with patients of all ages, couples and families. The office can be reached at 314-942-1147 or via e-mail at bryan@stlmentalhealth.com. More information about the practice can be found at www.STLmentalhealth.com.
St. Louis mental health practice – Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates – works with local schools to help with trauma, behaviors and mental health in children The 2016 year has already been a very busy one for the team at Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates, a mental health therapy practice in St. Louis. The team has educated, trained and provided resources to almost 1,000 educators and parents in St. Louis county, St. Charles county and St. Louis city. Each week therapists make time in their busy schedules between therapy appointments to participate in mental health and school related trainings in the region. The topics range from working with children who have encountered trauma, to school and text anxiety, to depression, to behavior and conduct issues, to peer related challenges, to family and home, and other mental health related items. In addition, the team has hosted several trainings in their Creve Coeur clinic. A recent training entitled, “I’m Sad, Mad & Traumatized… And You Still Want Me To Learn”, was attended by a large group of area school counselors and administrators. Dr. Lena Pearlman shares why the practice is so committed to running trainings for schools and families, “I worked for agencies and organizations for almost 20 years before I started Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates in 2014. When I worked for others, it made it very difficult for me to carve out time to get out into the community and do grassroots efforts for children and families. I promised myself that when I was able, I would make it a priority to help as many people as I could. It is an honor and privilege to be invited into the school and the community.” Her husband, Dr. Bryan Pearlman, is the lone educator on the team. His motivation for co-leading the trainings is very similar, “I retired young as a school principal and teacher. This enabled me to dig deeper and help more children and families in ways that were very difficult to accomplish as a principal. Almost daily, I encountered kids and families that were struggling with stress, depression, anxiety and other family issues. It was very hard to get to any significant depth in helping with these issues, except for providing a referral. I now have the ability to travel the region to provide resources to hundreds if not thousands of counselors, principals, teachers and families. The impact so far has been so much bigger and better than I anticipated.” The team is planning to provide more training over the summer and into the fall. For more information, please contact Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates by phone at: 314-942-1147 or by email at: bryan@stlmentalhealth.com. The practice is online at: www.STLmentalhealth.com. —– Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is a mental health therapy practice and clinic in Creve Coeur, Missouri. The team of five therapists specialize in stress, depression, anxiety, relationships, and other mental health related issues. The practice sees kids, teens, adults, couples and families.
St. Louis Therapy Group Trains Teachers at Trautwein Elementary School in Mehlville Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates trained the teachers at Trautwein Elementary School in the Mehlville School District on Friday, April 15, 2016. The training focused on working with students that display oppositional, defiant and explosive behaviors in school. The presenters shared some techniques, suggestions and tools that can be used with school age children that struggle with making appropriate behavior choices. Dr. Bryan Pearlman and Debra Johnson, LCSW were the co-presenters. The model that they referenced includes viewing child misbehaviors as a form of a learning disability. In this model, the goal is to help build the skills behind the poor choices. This focuses on problem solving, flexibility and frustration tolerance. Many students that are lacking in these areas, tend to be the children that struggle the most with behaviors. These are the children that are often the ones that face consequences in school, get sent to the principal’s office, and are suspended. An additional critical piece in this process is to identify the teachers concern, the child’s concern, and then to problem solve collaboratively for a mutually agreeable solution to the challenge. This becomes a win-win for everyone. Teachers in the training were asked to think about challenging students that they work with currently and/or those who they worked with in the past. They were encouraged to problem solve and reflect with the new lens to determine if the outcome for the child would have been different had they utilized the building skills model instead of just the consequence model. In addition to these tools, the speakers shared that this is a process for growing and learning for the child and also a learning process for teachers. Traditionally and historically, teachers (and parents) define the problem, come up with the solution, and enforce the rules. Over 50 years of research, support the belief that having a child involved in the problem, brainstorming, and solutions – provides a significantly higher likelihood of this plan being a success. The presenters stated that the research for this approach was developed by Dr. Ross Greene. Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates (www.STLmentalhealth.com) is a mental health therapy practice in St. Louis, Missouri. The practice works with children, teens, adults, couples and families. The team specializes in stress management, anxiety, depression, relationships, and other mental health related issues. Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is located at 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141. They can be reached by phone at 314-942-1147 or by email at bryan@stlmentalhealth.com.
MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY PRACTICE PROVIDES FREE TRAINING TO HUNDREDS OF PARENTS & EDUCATORS (St. Louis, Missouri): Dr. Lena Pearlman and her husband Dr. Bryan Pearlman have spent the majority of 2016 traveling to schools, district offices, and community meeting spaces to help educate and train parents and educators about mental health related issues that impact school age children and teens. The topics of these trainings have included: school stress, self-harm, anxiety, depression, peer pressure, aggressive behaviors, substance abuse, relationships, and trauma. To date, the duo has presented to close to a thousand people. Lena shared her reasoning for starting the trainings, “I believe that there is a real lack of good information and resources out there for parents who have children or teens that are struggling. Many of the parents have no idea where to turn. Some parents view mental health related issues as a stigma and often have a hard time seeking out treatment. There is something special and non-threatening about the format of our trainings. Nobody is made to feel as though they are to blame or that they have done something wrong as a parent. We believe it also helps that it is held in the school and community. This makes it more accessible and parents are more likely to stay after school to acquire information and resources.” Bryan’s reasoning for participating has a lot to do with his former career, “As a former principal and teacher, getting into the community to help kids was a no-brainer. I saw so many kids struggle in school and in life. What they were missing was access to quality therapeutic and counseling information and care. Unfortunately, this is not always possible in schools. Most schools have a few counselors and hundreds if not thousands of students on their caseload. It is really hard to meet some of the more acute needs of these children. Getting out into the community was my first goal in joining the team.” The couple and their team of five licensed mental health therapists plan additional trainings throughout the summer and fall. More information is available on the practice website at www.STLmentalhealth.com or by calling Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates at 314-942-1147.
St. Louis Therapist Dr. Lena Pearlman Shares 10 Easy Things to Make You More Happy Who wouldn’t want to be more happy? Below find 10 easy things you can do to make yourself more happy and to feel better. 1.) Get Outside: The combination of fresh air, sunlight and looking at nature’s beauty will make you happier. 2.) Move: Any form of exercise will release endorphins and increase blood flow. This will make you feel better. 3.) Stand-Up: Sitting for long periods of time has a negative impact on your health and mood. Something as simple as standing-up can improve your mood. 4.) Release Your Inner Rock Star: Listening to music and singing is another natural stress reliever. 5.) Belly Laugh: There has been a great deal of research on the numerous health benefits of laughing. 6.) Get a Hobby: Participating in activities that you enjoy can reduce stress and give you something to look forward to. 7.) Talk (and Listen): Communicating with others is a basic human need and one that reduces stress. 8.) Help Others: Volunteering is a great way to help the community. This self-less act is also a huge benefit to you as well. Giving back and doing something positive for others has been shown to improve your own health. 9.) Journal: Journaling is a great way to process what is going on now and your plans for the future. Reading your journal later can help you reflect on the past and help you move forward. For a lot of people, getting thoughts on paper can be a major stress reliever – which makes you more happy. 10.) Meditation, Yoga or Tai Chi: Taking time to relax, stretch and process relieves stress and naturally makes you happy. Without sounding too much like a therapy commercial, many people find that participating in therapy can reduce stress, improve one’s outlook, and make you feel happy. Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is a therapy and counseling practice in St. Louis, Missouri. The practice specializes in stress management, depression, anxiety, relationships and other mental health related issues. The team works with children, teens, adults, couples and families. More information about Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates can be found at: https://www.stlmentalhealth.com. The office is located at: 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141.
St. Louis therapist Dr. Lena Pearlman shares advice for teachers on dealing with students who have been traumatized -40% of school age children say they experienced a physical assault during the past year, with one in 10 receiving an assault-related injury. -25 % of children state they were the victim of robbery, vandalism or theft during the previous year. -20% of children witnessed violence in their family or the neighborhood during the previous year. -In a recent study of a school, 30% of the children reported that they had witnessed a stabbing and 26% had witnessed a shooting in the previous year. What can be done to help the children to be successful in school? -Create predictable routines in your classroom (also predictable reaction to their behaviors, outbursts, internalizing, etc.) -Give choices – traumatic events involve loss of control/chaos. Kids feel safe when they have some control. -Increase the level of support/encouragement – designate an adult who can provide additional support if necessary. -Set clear, firm limits for inappropriate behavior and develop logical rather than punitive consequences. Don’t take offense to their outburst or behaviors (this has nothing to do with you!). Realize that there will be set-backs. Have realistic expect. for success. -Provide a safe place for the child to talk about what happened (designated time and place to share). -Be sensitive to cues in the environment that may cause a reaction (storms, emergency vehicles responding, etc.) – anticipate difficult times and provide additional support (upcoming court dates, stressful times of the school year, etc). -Warn children in advance if you will be doing something out of the ordinary (intruder drill, turning out lights, etc.) -Look for ways to provide accommodations – not every traumatized child will meet criteria for an IEP, consider 504 or just best practices (shorten assignments, allow addi’ time, process for visiting designated adult, safe place, team plan for what to do if/when there is a significant behavioral outburst, etc.). ———–Fair isn’t always equal! -Team approach and outside resources – utilizing talents, strengths, and ideas from a group will provide more tools in the toolbox. This will certainly give a higher likelihood of success. — Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is a therapy and counseling practice in St. Louis, Missouri. The practice specializes in working with kids, teens and adults. The five therapists provide services to those dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, relationships, trauma, and other mental health related items. The practice is located at 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141. The office phone number is 314-942-1147. Dr. Lena Pearlman & Associates is online at www.STLmentalhealth.com. The practice provides free training and professional development for teachers, counselors, principals, and other educators in the St. Louis region.
Everybody feels down, sad or under the weather. These are all perfectly normal emotions and reactions to different situations and circumstances that one faces in day-to-day life. These feelings become a concern when they occur multiple times per day over time and/or when this becomes someone’s norm. An important step in dealing with being depressed or feeling down is to discuss this with your physician or a therapist. They can assist by working with you to understand the causes of these feelings and emotions. They can also help provide some coping strategies. Some example coping strategies are listed below: Stay Connected: Communicate with friends and families. Isolation may make the depressed feelings more pronounced. Write in a journal: Getting your thoughts and feelings onto paper can be very therapeutic. This is also something that can be reflected on and reviewed later and can be shared with your doctor or therapist. Move around: Exercise is an amazing stress release and a natural way to feel better. Any form of exercise will benefit you. Two good examples are yoga and tai chi. Decide later: Career moves and big decisions should be made when you are not in a depressed or down mood. Hobbies: Becoming involved in a fun hobby gives you something to look forward to. It also acts as a stress reducer. Learn: Reading and learning about new ideas, thoughts, skills or practically anything might make you feel more accomplished. This successful acquisition of new items will likely make you feel better. —– Dr. Lena Pearlman is the founder and clinical director of Dr. Lena Pearlman and Associates (www.STLmentalhealth.com) a mental health therapy practice in St. Louis, Missouri. The practice specializes in working with children, teens, families, and adults who are dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, relationship concerns, or other mental health related issues. The therapy team has five licensed therapists. She is an adjunct college professor and a published author. The practice provides a great deal of mental health resources online.
