As a St. Louis therapist who works with children, teens, and families every day, I often hear young people describe themselves through a distorted lens. Social media, bullying, body image concerns, and perfection culture can make even the strongest kids feel “not enough.” Cognitive distortions—those sneaky, automatic negative thoughts—can convince them they are failing, behind, or unlovable.
The truth is far different. Kids and teens are incredible—but sometimes they need help seeing it. Here are ten therapist-backed ways to help your child or teen recognize their worth and build lasting confidence.
When kids think, “Everyone is better than me,” gently challenge it. Ask, “What evidence do we have?” Kids learn that feelings aren’t facts.
For more on cognitive distortions, see resources from the National Institute of Mental Health:
https://www.nimh.nih.gov
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Instead of obsessing over what went wrong, help them name three things they did well today. Confidence grows from repeated recognition of strengths.
Teens often compare themselves to filtered, curated perfection. Talk openly about editing apps and unrealistic images. The American Psychological Association shares guidance for families navigating social media:
https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media
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Encourage them to write down one thing they like about themselves every single day. Over time, this creates a powerful counter-voice to self-doubt.
Teach them that the only fair comparison is who they were yesterday. Improvement is in their control; other people’s highlight reels are not.
Body dysmorphia grows when kids believe there is only one way to look. Emphasize the beauty of diverse bodies and focus on health, strength, and appreciation—not appearance.
If bullying happens, validate the pain and remind them that another person’s cruelty does not define them. The StopBullying.gov resource center provides helpful tools:
https://www.stopbullying.gov
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Kids learn from what they hear. When you model statements like, “I made a mistake, but I’m learning,” they internalize self-compassion.
Praise trying, sticking with hard things, and showing resilience. This builds internal motivation and reduces perfectionism.
Sometimes a child or teen needs professional support to work through anxiety, depression, bullying, negative self-image, or trauma. St. Louis counseling can help them develop healthier thinking patterns and rediscover their strengths.
At Pearlman & Associates, our therapists specialize in helping children, teens, and families build confidence, challenge negative thoughts, and embrace who they truly are.
Website: https://www.STLmentalhealth.com
Phone: 314-942-1147
Email: bryan@stlmentalhealth.com
Location: 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, Creve Coeur, Missouri
Services: Children, teens, adults, couples, and families
Specialties: Anxiety, depression, bullying, trauma, self-esteem, social media stress, relationships
Dr. Lena Pearlman, LCSW
Rebecca Dougherty, LCSW
Dr. Bryan Pearlman, EdD, LMSW
Samantha Pearlman, LCSW
Sydnee Maberry, LCSW
