The power of pause, pausing is one of the most effective mental health strategies for calming the nervous system, reducing conflict, and improving emotional regulation. It is especially powerful for people who move fast, experience anxiety, have ADHD or executive function challenges, or come from trauma or survival-based backgrounds. When stress hits, adrenaline floods the body, the amygdala reacts first, and IQ can temporarily drop by forty to fifty points. Pausing gives the brain enough time to come back online so the prefrontal cortex can think clearly again.
Below are ten meaningful ways to use the pause as a therapeutic tool for emotional regulation, trauma recovery, ADHD support, and healthier relationships.
Why: Your first reaction often comes from emotion, not clarity.
Brain research: Under stress, the emotional centers of the brain override the logical centers.
Try this: Take one slow breath before speaking.
Mental health benefit: Builds healthier communication and reduces anxiety-driven responses.
Why: Quick reactions can damage relationships or escalate conflict.
Brain research: Adrenaline reduces perspective and lowers problem-solving ability.
Try this: Set your device down and walk away for sixty seconds.
Therapy insight: Helps reduce impulsivity, especially for ADHD brains.
Why: Feeling attacked can trigger a survival response, especially for people with trauma histories.
Brain research: The amygdala fires rapidly and the thinking brain temporarily shuts down.
Try this: Ask yourself, “What else could this mean?”
Counseling benefit: Prevents conflict escalation and supports emotional safety.
Why: Children mirror a parent’s nervous system. Your pause regulates theirs.
Brain research: Escalation spreads quickly through emotional contagion.
Try this: Drop your shoulders and soften your voice before responding.
Parenting benefit: Creates safety, reduces power struggles, and models emotional regulation.
Why: Emotional decisions often follow impulse rather than core values.
Brain research: Stress disrupts the prefrontal cortex, which manages long-term thinking.
Try this: Step away and revisit the choice after ten minutes of calm.
Therapeutic use: Supports healthier coping and reduces regret-based choices.
Why: Slowing down prevents a conversation from becoming a win-lose struggle.
Brain research: Deep breathing reduces cortisol and increases executive functioning.
Try this: Breathe in for four seconds and out for six. Repeat three times.
Mental health benefit: Keeps communication constructive and grounded.
Why: Overwhelm signals that your nervous system feels unsafe or overloaded.
Brain research: Naming emotions reduces amygdala activity and increases regulation.
Try this: Say, “I feel overwhelmed and I can slow this moment down.”
Therapy benefit: Builds emotional awareness and reduces panic symptoms.
Why: Under stress, the brain fills in missing information with fear.
Brain research: Humans naturally default to negative interpretations for survival.
Try this: Ask, “Is there a more generous explanation?”
Counseling insight: Reduces anxiety, rumination, and cognitive distortions.
Why: Your body signals stress before your mind notices.
Brain research: Physical tension activates the nervous system’s threat pathways.
Try this: Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and breathe deeply.
Clinical benefit: Supports grounding and reduces trauma-related physiological responses.
Why: Your reaction influences the outcome and the relationship.
Brain research: Visualization activates neural pathways tied to self-control and emotional regulation.
Try this: Imagine the calmest version of yourself responding, then follow that image.
Therapy benefit: Supports values-based behavior and long-term emotional growth.
The power of pause is tiny but powerful. It creates space for your nervous system to shift out of survival mode and into clarity. In that space, you can think, choose, connect, and lead yourself with intention. The pause is not hesitation. It is self-control, emotional intelligence, and wisdom in action.
Harvard Center on the Developing Child: How stress affects the brain
https://developingchild.harvard.edu
Greater Good Science Center: Emotional regulation skills
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): ADHD and executive functioning
https://www.nimh.nih.gov
American Psychological Association: Trauma and stress responses
https://www.apa.org
Written by Dr. Bryan Pearlman, Pearlman & Associates — STLmentalhealth.com — 314-942-1147 — bryan@stlmentalhealth.com
— 655 Craig Road, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63141
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